Welcome Back

Hey guys don't be mad at me... I don't want to hear you guys tell me I've been gone for too long because I know that! I could feel it. It hurts my soul not to give you guys something to look forward to! Don't worry because I'm back and this time it's for good!
  I know this may come off as a shock to most of you who do not know me personally, but I am single and recently I've been dating. I'm not going to lie to you all; this stuff is hard as heck. At first it was like scary a little bit, but after a good few weeks I got the hang of things. Now I feel like I should fast forward because I want to share with you guys what I've learned and a bit of what I'm actually going through.
 I know a lot of you ladies out there feel like all guys may be the same but when I tell you that is so false. Listen to me! We got the territorial ones who think "you my boo but, I got a bunch of boos and you cant mess with nobody but me"(aka the ones who got you messed up). Then we have the nonchalant ones. The ones who do date other people but he don't mind if you date other guys too because we're both single so there's not real commitment here to begin with. Now we got the bugga boos. Ughhhh! You guys know the ones who just been waiting for you to be single so they could slide in your DMs or start calling and texting you again just bugging the hell out of you. They don't be meaning any harm but just extra annoying. Now all these guys you're dating and they all cool but you have to deal with all them differently.
  The territorial one you have to let be great but in the same token you have to be different from them other boos he deal with you have to be the one he rather be with, but he knows he cant because you're not always available. Guess what!!? You're not suppose to be. A lot of the times they won't get that but you don't even have to explain to them because they have other boos to tend to anyway. No matter how much you like these guys you always have to do you. Don't give them that control over you. These guys be feeling like they the prize. You have to remind them that they are the winner. They winning if they messing with you!
  So now the nonchalant ones (which are my favs). No but seriously these are the go with the flow ones.  These be the ones with the most potential to be bae; that's just my opinion. you know they're  dating other girls but you cool with that because they don't got to be all in your business and asking about the other guys you're dating. They don't be caring they just be there when its time to do stuff they follow thru with everything, and when you need to talk they there. They real cool. only thing is that a lot of the times they just want to date. and there's nothing wrong with that if you're trying to just date too, but if you're looking for a relationship this is not you're guy. I mean I cant even say that he just really have to be into you. So if you want that to happen make that your goal. Make him want to be with you. Easier said than done, but definitely can be done.
  "Can some one please get this bugga boo away from me"? I'm just kidding. All jokes aside these are the worst kind of guys to date. You give them a chance thinking like "what the hey"! they be good guys too that's the sucky part. they just go over board when it comes to understanding what dating really is. They tend to be annoying with the text and phone calls and the wanting to take pics with you and the hovering and the "you know ive always wanted you"-s . They almost make you not want to date them but you now if you don't at least give them a shot they won't go away, or what happens is they fake fall in love with you and want you to be their girlfriend. You turn them down and they fake hate you and be back again. Basically being the bug you can't seem to kill.
  With that being said and broken down as much as I can without making this any longer than it have to be. When it comes to dating just take it slow as possible so you can fill out a person. Ladies remember to know your worth and don't settle for anything other than what you know you deserve. You are the prize! And guys what kind of guy are you? Make sure you not that bugga boo!

Hello Love

"That sunlight you didn't want to sneak thru the curtains and wake you, that's the hurt I didn't want to feel. Somedays I wish you felt the hurt I did. I know how selfish and cruel that sounds but sometimes I tend to leave myself behind". 

                                                                                                      -Rameeh S.

  Love is about putting those you love before you. What happens when they forget to remember you? Is that not love anymore? Does your happiness not matter? At this time is it too late to be selfish? 

  I know none of the answers to any of these questions. That scares me the most because I became a victim of ignorance. I know that love is responsible for that. I know that much. 

  I use to think love didn't hurt. But really love does the most. Love hurts, love yells, love cries, love loves, love forgets, love forgives, love remembers, love makes you happy, love makes you sad, love scares you. Love is like it's endless verbs... Simply endless.  

  It's the warmth you get when you feel loved; that relief you feel when you know you're loved. Because love also makes you feel like everything is ok and if it's not now it will be. That's what makes people want love so bad. 

  Everyone wants to feel that. But it's the tough times that people fear that not one person is ever prepared enough for; because no matter how many times you try to catch it, you always seem to miss it. Time is funny like that there's never a right time. Just hard times and easy times but most times are harder than anytime. 

  You honestly never know how much time you have. It simply just happens and sometimes you're too late for love. Once you miss it, you want to know how, what, where, and when things went wrong. But most importantly why you lost love. These times make people not want love. How can you love again when you know that love is capable to hurt. 

  If love is enough for you then it's most certainly worth fighting for. Because in life we never ask for certain things to happen they just do and we just deal with them and the people who don't deal with them either feel like it's not enough or it's not worth it. And if something isn't worth it for you going out your way will make things so pointless and that's not love. It's not pointless. 

  Love changes you. It makes you do everything you didn't know you could do before. It sticks with you. Even when you don't want it to it does, to remind you that it's still there. It's up to you to conquer. Because love is still a beautiful thing.Love is that unwanted sunlight that sneak up on you and wake you. You might not want it to happen but it's simply out of your control.

Business Is Business

"So it's Wednesday right"? Lol. These socials will define your life. Maybe it's just me but really; everyday I get on Instagram or Twitter and see people post things we all like or suppose to care about. From exposing to screenshots it's always someone trying to let us know what's going on in their precious lives.

    I'm convinced people are just eager for the attention eager to be acknowledge and eager to have a group of unknowns on their side. Example one: "oh it's Monday right"? Like we don't know it's Monday! Post the guy you all want us to finally know about, You know since we all CARE! It's not that serious same with today though. What makes people think other people who do not know them from a can of paint actually care who you talk to. 

    People use these social site to show everyone how good things are going, how popping they claim to be, how broke they baby's dad is, how much of a thief they baby mom is, how they have the best relationship, how much money they got. The list goes on, but honestly what is everyone trying to prove? Like thank you for putting me in your business but why should I know all these things? You don't ned my approval to do what you do.

    I'm not lying to you when I tell you these people who follow you on these social sites DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR LIFE! They really don't. I mean they might act like they care say "damnnnn" or maybe "yall is cute together" but trust when I say someone screenshoted you and put you in a group message talking about "your business". So really all you do most of the time when you post is give people something to talk about. Now you might be the type who like get into stuff like that but me I don't like people in my business because I don't care about anyone's opinion! 

   Here's what cracks me up the most. Here's what I really wanted to crack down on. People post so much about their personal lives and then will get mad once someone has something to say. I mean once you post something to the public your now giving the public a chance to voice their opinions weather it's good ones or bad ones. But lord knows you guys hate it when it's bad ones and have the nerve to tell people to "mind their business". People wouldn't be in your business if you didn't put them in it. I can honestly tell you a few people's whole lives and what they been thru and I swer to you I probably don't even speak to them or even meet them. YES ITS THAT SERIOUS! 

    All I'm saying is this, if you don't want anyone to know don't post. Keep that thought better yet, that business to yourself if it's not anyone's business, Keep it to a minimum!

Sorry Not Sorry

      Long time no see fellow readers! I have been extremely busy with work and holidays I have failed to keep you guys updated. So therefore I would like to say sorry. Would you guys except my apology? I know this maybe another sorry to add to your list of sorrys you may have got over this past year. Many of them meaningful, many of them pointless, and all of them you're just plain old tired of hearing. Trust me when I say you're not the only one tired of these apologies.

      An apology is a regretful acknowledgment of an offense of failure, well at least that's what the dictionary would say. Now days people use it just as much as people use Love.  We tend to only do it when we think it'll make things better, or shut a person up. Nine times out of ten people rarely are ever sorry about what they did. When people say they are sorry they usually mean "...for hurting your feelings", never for what they did. Now don't get me wrong I honestly think people do things ignorantly. They go in a situation not knowing rather or not it's about to hurt your feelings and once they do it, it's already done so there's no taking it back. So sorry is probably the only thing they can say to you.

      You can't get upset with a person for being ignorant. Sometimes the communication isn't there so they really don't know how you feel. But when a "sorry" is coming from a person who knows you, who knows how you feel, and who knows before they go into any situation how you would feel about it, is a person who simply don't care. I'm sorry to break it to you(lol) because it's sad and hard to take in but hear me out. First time a person does anything to hurt you and say sorry it's fine to accept their apology, but afterwards let them know how you felt about it. The second time they do it they just showed you how you felt didn't mean anything to them. So how do they really expect you to think what they did they didn't mean to do? 

        A "sorry" can only be accepted but so many times. After a while a sorry becomes just that. "Sorry for letting you down.." Again? "Sorry for talking to her/him" Again? "Sorry I cheated.." Again? People soon become sorry after a while. Sorry ass people. 

     I'm really the queen of "you shouldn't had did it" because seriously, if you knew why would you do it. Nothing is accidental. We are no longer kids, where we don't know what we are doing. Everything I do like anyone else, we do things we want to do. So I know if a person is doing anything they're doing it because they wanted to do it. When someone says "I'm sorry I didn't mean to..". What they really mean is "sorry I didn't mean for you to find out and feel some type of way".

      So remember the list of sorrys you have take that list, crumble it up in your fist, and throw it away with the rest of the bullshit you terminated in your life. In order for you to feel free you have to forgive. Not for them but for yourself, to be at peace with yourself no need to hold a grudge with someone who is simply sorry for not caring. Surround yourself around people who want the same thing as you. Be with some one who isn't sorry; be with someone who is glad to be with you and wouldn't do anything to hurt you and would do everything in their power to make sure that never happens! 

The Break-Up

  Life is a bunch of mood swings. You just never know what today may bring... When it goods... Oh it's great, but when it's bad, it's the worst. You feel like you've done everything possible to make it work it to make someone else happy. Nothing is ever good enough.

  When this happens it may feel like the end it may feel like this is it. and most times that may be the case but neither one of you want disappoint one another, but at the end of the day if neither of you are happy and you guys feel like you're being force to be in a relationship, its pretty pointless. You can't make anyone be what you want them to be and you can't expect them to be what they are not.

  It honestly suck when you feel like something was so right but its not. things will begin to become annoying; You'll become very irritable around one another; everything that person do will bother you.  You'll begin to just find any reason to argue. You'll really just feel like a totally different person. One thing you cannot do is loose yourself. You have to be the person in control of your own happiness, sadness, and emotions as a whole.

  Once you give a person that much control over how you feel without them is a thought you can't even bare to think about. this makes you think you need a person even though you're not truly happy. You're fooling yourself, you're only truly happy when you can be happy regardless of anyone or anything else. letting be in control of how you feel will make you think you cant go on without them and this is not true. Yes breaking up hurts yes it is sad, and yes it hurts your heart because you believe someone was so very different than all the others and all they did was prove to you they were just like the rest. And really all you ever wanted was to feel how you did and the beginning. You both just got comfortable and stop doing what you did to get eachother to fall in love in the first place.

  See the thing is people play with this thing everyone seems to want called "LOVE". they throw it around as if they are playing hot potato. Everyone wants it but not everyone knows how to love. Love is something that is everlasting so when you love some one and you really mean it that love you have for that person will never  vanish it will last forever even when things seem to be over love will always be enough. You will always be able to count on it. And just because its over doesn't mean the person doesn't love you its just mean they feel like they did everything they could do to remain in love but feelings didn't match up with what was in their heart Does that make any sense? I know love is hard to understand. It's even harder to explain.

  Trust me when I say things get better. They always do. It just takes time. everything does. Just how it took time for you to even love the person you though you would be with for the rest of your life. this is the time you use to find yourself and learn to throw away the person who feels so betrayed. This is not the time to dwell on what it aren't but time to except things for what they are. Time to get busy because all you will end up doin is thinking about it non stop everyone you do will remind you of that person and it will hurt every single time. You got to get into things to get your mind off of the things you can't seem to forget. If things are meant to be they will be. I know how cliché that might sound but it is true. everything that happens or that is happening to you are only preparing you and making you the you you've been waiting to be your whole life.

Cuffin' Season

  Greens are beginning to turn different shades of orange; birds are flying south; bears are just about ready to go into hibernation; and us humans.. Well we'er all of a sudden ready to cuff or be cuffed. This is Cuffin' Season.
  Summer is now coming to an end and lust is really in the air. Now most of us may say we'er not really looking, but please let's be honest... Nothing beats skin to skin with someone, laughing at pointless jokes, or just talking to someone who really gets you. Forgetting everyone else even exist for just a few moments is better than being alone. I mean who really wants to go outside in the cold unless they have to you know.
  This season can be very tricky though. This is the time you find the right one to do just that with. If you don't someone else will. You may call up an old number from a party you attended this summer. You guys may just might had hit it off but you were just too busy having fun to even try to chill. Now you're contemplating on what exactly it is you're going to say to this person.. A simple "hey" always work. Don't really want to come off too strong but I mean really everyone is looking for the same thing. Some of us just don't know how to communicate.
  Now make sure the person you're going for isn't cuffed already (nobody likes a somebody else's and don't be that "we sharing" ass person). Get to know them a little. Ask what they like and things they like to do. These are things you need to know because it's going be a long winter and you guys can't just be having sex(unless that's what you into now Ayyeee I ain't mad you do ya thang). But seriously you don't want to be weird not knowing what to do or say once things go into play so for the most part be cool act like you know them once they come around. You both should be comfortable as possible because lord knows everyone had those awkward "chill" sessions.
  Now you also want to observe their surroundings too because you might get a "friends to the end" type of person. Y'all know them "I'm with my bros everyday all gay" type of guys and them "ladiiiessss my bitch my sis where my bestfriend at" type of girls. Don't get me wrong ain't nothing wrong with having friends they always going be there. We get that, but damn do they make you cum!?... I didn't think so! This season you want to see them on occasions. If you have that type of person you trying to cuff, you need to become that person they enjoy being around that's where all the things they told you they had liked come into play. So that should be a piece of cake.
  We all know that this season may not last forever. So please don't take everything so serious. But if you go with the flow you'll never know. I mean y'all only friends now. It also may turn into something for the time being which is also understandable. Just don't be surprised if they begin to act funny as summer begin to break. It's up to y'all what y'all want to do. But for now just enjoy ones company!

How It Feel

  I thought I knew it all... I thought i had it all down to a T down to repeat.. To tell someone else how to do it.
Just when I thought I knew he came and showed me; Showed me how it's really done.
Funny because I swer I didn't want any distractions. But I honestly didn't mind his presents plus he admire my attention so soon he just became apart of the plan.
  The thing about this is that I don't hear anything but his heart... I remember the steady beat; I can hear when it slows down to let him speak.
  I don't ask him a bunch of questions often because I don't want him to think I don't believe his actions... I hear them more than anything. And in this case I'm not such a good listener, but paying attention make it an actual sight to see.
  It's not so bad to not listen if it's not what I want to hear, but more of what I want to see is more important to me... He gives me that girl in the movie affect. That's exactly how I see it in my head. I can replay it over and over again and it's always a good romance chick flick.
  I hear his name and automatically began to look for him to appear. I hear his voice and close my eyes and see his lips saying exactly what he's saying moving exactly the way they would move as if he was right in front of me saying it.
  I wish it was like that with his touch because it's so heavenly I can only remember it and not actually feel it as much as I want to. I can't get the same goosebumps; the same nerve movement that creep through me when he touch me. I swer when he touches me it's like a butterfly that landed on a honeysuckle and tried to suck it dry but it remembers that it's going to want it later, so it saves it right before it's too late. When it decides to fly away it always comes back and do the same thing. The honeysuckle don't mind because the feeling of knowing that the butterfly is coming back to it and isn't going to let it die is literally breathtaking...
  Even though I can't feel him physically, I can feel him holding on to my soul mentally. I'm stuck thats how I know this feeling can't go away. It don't stop and I don't remember when it started; it happened and then I feel in love like how you fall... Slowly but then all at once like BOOM. Only difference is I'm falling upside down... I'm floating now, I can't find solid ground, and I don't even want to...